Disgruntled American Voter, Don't Put Up With Trump: Trade Places With a Brazilian Worker
Any disgruntled American voter, unhappy with the fascism and oppression of their new government, and anxious for more inclusive welfare, protection of workers’ rights, universal heath care, higher taxation for the rich, more humane policing and programs to protect the disadvantaged, should trade their places with a Brazilian worker.
It’s the deal of a lifetime. You can’t miss it.
We Brazilians have, by law, 30 days of vacations annually. Each worker must be paid 13 monthly salaries. Additional employer taxes are used to create a workers’ compensation fund (called FGTS) and for social security (INSS). Until some time ago civil servants retired with a pension equivalent to their last full salary. Employers can (and sometimes must) provide transportation passes and food stamps. Union affiliation is mandatory, as are union taxes. An entire branch of the judiciary is dedicated to labor disputes. If you sue your employer, you will win 90% of the time.
We have UNIVERSAL health care coverage. Just walk into a public hospital and, by law, you are entitled to ANY treatment you may need, at no charge — even if you are a foreign tourist who just stepped out of the plane.
Brazil hates incarceration. We believe criminals are victims of society’s oppression. Armed robbery carries an average term of less the one year behind bars. Prisoners have the right to go home in seven holidays a year, the right to “intimate visits” and can even qualify to received a government pension when locked up. Underage criminals cannot be arrested, only kept in “recovery” institutions for up to 3 years, after which they are let go with a clean record. Newspapers cannot even publish their names or show their pictures.
We have hundreds of thousands of non-profit organisations dedicated to every social cause you can imagine. They get plenty of government funds. Public money is also available should you feel the need to shoot a movie, write a book or stage a rock concert. Any “cultural” manifestation will be considered worthy of government financing.
Racism is outlawed. A racial slur will put you behind bars faster than a homicide. A new category of crime was created (femalecide = homicide of a female) to make sure no gender-biased crime goes unpunished.
Social programs help you buy your home (“My House, My Life”), pay for your kids’ college and send them to study overseas (“Science With No Frontiers”). They also help you get retrained for a new job (“Pronatec”).
It’s a great place to live. And yet, it won’t be difficult to find a Brazilian worker willing to trade his place with you, my disgruntled American friend.
This is, truly, a great opportunity.
Come live and work in Brazil, the land of political correctness, a place located halfway to the socialist paradise.
Don’t spend another unhappy day in America.
Trade your place with a Brazilian worker, now.
Come learn the truth.
